


My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

by toni_fuckingshalifoe



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Basically toni sitting in the rooms after the island remembering a conversation she had with shelby, Canon Compliant, F/F, Post-Canon, Post-Island, general audiences but toni swears, idk what else to tag this, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29034717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toni_fuckingshalifoe/pseuds/toni_fuckingshalifoe
Summary: She had to be here, right? It only made sense.Toni scanned the rough materials that made up the walls of her enclosure, and thought about how quickly it all went down.----Or, Toni sitting in her room after being "rescued" from the island and remembering a conversation she had with Shelby
Relationships: GoodFoe - Relationship, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe, Shoni
Comments: 5
Kudos: 113





	My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

**Author's Note:**

> Its my first fic so don't be an asshole but do leave constructive criticism. Also, I'm planning on doing multiple chapters so if you have any ideas on how you want it to go I am all ears

She had to be here, right? It only made sense. 

Toni scanned the rough materials that made up the walls of her enclosure and thought about how quickly it all went down. One moment she had been sitting around the fire, helping Dot and Fatin set up the chores schedule for the next two days. It would be inaccurate to say that life on the island had become better, but it had definitely become more stable, more bearable, more normal. Or as normal as life could be, all things considered. Their days often felt routine, mundane even: waking up with the burning sun, performing their respective tasks for the day, getting cleaned up, and setting up a fire to eat dinner together. Toni often caught herself falling a little in love with it all. She had never had much of a routine back home. Her life always seemed to zig when she thought it would zag. Of course, that’s why it would make sense that she would find normalcy in one of the most abnormal situations. 

And then, it all came to an end. It happened fast, almost too fast, Toni thought.  
A boat. A group of men. They all screamed, cheered even. Toni wanted to find Shelby as soon as she saw the boat approaching. She wanted to run into the forest where she was picking berries and hold her, tell her that everything was going to be ok, even if she was not entirely sure of that herself. Hearing stories about her parents and everything that had happened around her, she dreaded the idea that one day Shelby would have to go back to that. But as soon as she started running into the forest to find her, a man held her by the arm.

“It is too dangerous for you to go back in there.” The man said, “We are taking you home.”  
“Get the fuck away from me”

Toni did not remember much of what happened after those words left her mouth. A few more men approached and suddenly, the world around her went black. 

As she drifted into unconsciousness, her senses seemed to remain on the island. The way the plants smelled in the mornings after it rained, as she was picking up berries with Martha. The sound of roaring laughter that came only in their nighttime conversations around the fire. The relaxing feeling in her hands when she touched the warm sand. The taste of the lychees the first day they had found them, which seemed to inundate her body with a feeling she could not quite describe. And the sight from the top of the mountain spot she and Shelby had found, where they would go, hang out and take in the view of the sunsets. 

And then, she had woken up here. She was not completely sure what to make of it. She was left in a room for what felt like hours, and her thoughts started to wonder. Fuck, maybe Leah had been right all along. Toni had always disregarded her comments as delusions caused by her clear instability. But still, she had had moments where suspicion crept in and she started doubting her reality as well.

“What do you think about what Leah said today?” Toni had asked Shelby one day while they were sitting on the beach.  
“If I am completely honest I wasn’t listening to her,” Shelby replied, chuckling. “What did she say?”  
“She was rambling on and on about how this is all a fucking conspiracy of some sort. Which, ok, I know it sounds dumb, but I am maybe… sort of starting to believe that might not be too crazy?”  
Shelby looked at her surprised. “Toni, you can’t be serious.”  
“I mean, think about it Shelbs,” She replied. “Don’t you think it’s a little weird that there was a pilot who literally flew over us, and never called anyone? I mean, who the fuck does that?”

Shelby stared into the distance, noticeably trying to form some kind of idea in her head. “Maybe he just didn’t see us. Don’t you think it is even weirder than someone would trap us on this island on purpose? Who does that?”

Toni took a second to breathe in. She knew Shelby was always trying to believe that people were good, and maybe, Toni thought, this is what gave her hope. She did not feel like taking that hope away at the moment.  
“Maybe you are right,” Toni breathed. She looked at the distressed look painted over the girl’s face and felt the need to add something more. “Listen, let’s say hypothetically there was a mastermind behind all this shit. All I want you to know is that, hypothetically, I wouldn’t tell them anything about…this. Ok? If that is what you want. And I’m not saying there is necessarily a whole conspiracy behind this. But, I guess, when we are rescued, we’ll be asked questions, right? What I think I am trying to say is, I’ll move at your rhythm.” 

Shelby stared at her for a few seconds, and a feeling of endearment washed over Toni. “Thank you.” She finally said. 

There were so many important, memorable things that happened on that island. And yet, at this moment, sitting in this humid room with no visible way of escaping, Toni kept replaying that scene on her head. Maybe it was because she had a gut feeling she would find an answer to her questions soon enough, or maybe it was simply the way Shelby had looked at her, with so much fulfillment. 

As she drifted to sleep, a final moment of the conversation came to her mind. As the two girls had left their spot on the sand and were heading back to camp, Shelby turned around and looked at her.

“So, I really don’t believe that there is some big reason why all of this is happening,” She blurted out. “But I just want to ask for something: Conspiracy or not, if we ever leave this island, and something happens and we end up getting separated, just…” She stopped for a moment, and her voiced seemed to break. 

“Please find me.”

Toni grabbed her freezing hand and squeezed it tight. “I will,” she said confidently. “I promise.”  
Right now, there weren’t a lot of things Toni was sure about. But she was absolutely fucking sure she was going to make good on that promise.


End file.
